2017 in review (post-dated obvs)

What an incredible, soul-filling, heartbreaking, joy-filled transformative year this was. 

From graduating with my Bachelor’s last December, venturing into the world as a self-employed, freelancing-postgrad-artist/linguist-person, doing Sweeney Todd at iStage, working with Tribble School on almost all of their productions from last November to this past summer, doing captioning/private lessons, Harvey and subsequently volunteering as an interpreter at GRB and NRG, then performing as Death in the world premiere of Donna Latham’s The Wretched Deathbed Fever Dreams of Edgar Allan Poe (and being nominated for Best Supporting Actress), to landing my incredible new job with Lopez Negrete, going to RenFest with Naomi, seeing Lady GAGA in concert, and the amazing holidays filled with family and fun, topping it off with a solo trip to NOLA to see Tank and the Bangas — all the while working to transform my heart, mind, body and soul through therapy work, energy healing, artistic expression, yoga, qigong and the works of Bob Ross, Brené Brown, Rob Bell, Dondi Dahlin and Donna Eden, and others — I was plenty busy this year and I did a lot of work on myself over the past year and I’m very proud of the changes I’ve made. 

It involved a lot of self-reflection, a lot of restorative “me-time,” a lot of saying no to fear, taking risks and getting out of my comfort zone, a lot of self-love and learning to stand up for myself, which required letting go of negative, toxic people close to me who thought they knew what was best for me — but  I learned that no one who actually loves you and wants the best for you will try to shame you into changing. And it took a lot of time and the help of REAL friends and loved ones to come to that realization. 

So, in 2018, know who you are. Own your story, including your pain and your failures as well as your accomplishments. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re “not ________ enough.” Whether you’re a theatre person and someone is trying to tell you that you need to be constantly involved in (at least) one or more productions at all times or you’re “not really an actor”; whether you’re a mom and someone is trying to tell you that because you raise your kid differently that you aren’t good enough or perfect enough, when you’re juggling a million different things, trying to be perfect at them all and just doing the absolute best you can; whether you’re just a young working millennial and the world and society try to make you feel ashamed and lazy for not wanting to work 40+ hours a week at a soul-sucking job, while purporting the notion that all you spend your money on is avocado toast; at the end of the day, no one’s opinion about you matters more than your own opinion of yourself. We can only give of ourselves to others when we have been filled up. We can only love others as much as we love ourselves. We can only know and understand others as much and we know and understand ourselves.

It’s so easy to get complacent and start thinking we know where everyone else is going wrong in their life, and that we know what’s best for everyone, and “So-and-so is _____, but if they would just _______, then they could really be ______,” while forgetting to examine ourselves; our hearts, souls, minds, our choices.

At the end of the day, no one’s opinion about you matters more than your own opinion about yourself. So, what do YOU think of yourself? Can you go to sleep every night with yourself and be proud and happy of your choices and how you’ve treated others this past year? 

If you’re not exactly satisfied with what comes to your mind when you ask yourself these questions, then perhaps make that your goal for this next year. 

Let go of perfectionism in 2018.

Let go of exhaustion and chronic busyness as a point of pride and a status symbol in 2018.

Let go of judging others in 2018 (you only end up judging yourself).

Let go of people-pleasing in 2018.

Let go of the need for certainty in 2018.

Let go of the need to have all the answers in 2018, it’s okay to not know.

I’ve still got a long way to go to being my absolute best self, but I’m incredibly happy and proud of how far I’ve come just this year. Thank you to everyone who was in my life this year, whether you know it or not, you made an impact. You were either a blessing, or a lesson, so thank you. 🙏🏻 😊 ❤️🤗 #2017inReview #selfreflection #selflove #selfrenewal #2018 #LoveYourselfIn2018